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(600+ members) Newsletter (Sage); March, 2008/archives.
Shop 'Till
You Drop
* Humor Has Been My Life's CallingI've been in the humor business for over 50 years, and
  I never get tired of putting a smile on somebody's face! 
Come See.
The articles shown below, can be read at my directory site at the following link: EzineArticles.com
* Is Bald Beautiful?  For all the whiners out there, who get ONE LITTLE GRAY HAIR...and
  have a panic-attack...they ought to lose their hair, and all the whining would stop!  For those of
  us who have lost their hair, we have had to deal with our self-esteem, our confidence, and trying
  to keep our chin up over a long period of time.
To all the young people out there...STAY IN SCHOOL
==========================================
Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor         humordoctormd@yahoo.com
Main Street; Front Page                       Free Stuff/come see
Site Map/site contents                          The Creative Center
Writers Section                                    The Humor Clinic
The Funny Farm                                  Articles Publsihed
Orange Barrel Humor                          Book: Simply...to Inspire!
* The English Language is all "Greek" To Me!  For your mission, if you decide to accept it, is to
  construct a complete sentence with one of the following words, their; there; they're.  Should you
  fail, you shall go straight to jail; you will not pass GO...and you will not collect $200.00!  Good luck!
* Music: The Beginning of Rock and Roll For Me (1955)  Nostalgia: A little trip down memory
  lane.  It was the mid-1950's and my family couldn't afford a television set, so we listened to the
  radio.  And, there were two unusual voices that came across the radio...the voices of Little
  Richard, and that of Wolfman Jack!  This was the beginning of the rock and roll era! 
* Jerry...Are You Crazy?  People have told me on more than one occasion, that I belong behind
  plenty of razor wire and a high chain-link fence.  .So, when I saw this back-ground for this page,
  I had to put it to work. 
My Serious and Silly Articles
You can go to the Writing Section to view any of my serious articles which
are listed here: 
The Seriousness of Depression; The Rise in Diabetes;  Discrimination Against Older Workers (Ageism); Here's The Skinny on How I Lost 40 Pounds; You Can't Please Everyone...So, Don't Try;  Smoking Sucks! How I Quit Smoking; Sabrina: Another Smoking Casualty; Good Writing Requirs Good Speling and Grama; How I Saved My Dog Daniel; Think Positive; Taking Chances With My Ideas; Creativity:  How I Get My Ideas; It's All About Making People Happy; I Refused To Raise Two "Mama's Boys!"; Do I Look Like a Rocket Scientist To You?; Have You Ever Kissed an Ashtray?; Peer-Pressure...It's Everywhere; The ME Generation is Alive and Well;  A Feast For The Eyes; Do You Have a Fear of Failure?; Falling On Hard Times. Dealing With the Inevitable...DEATH!; Falling On Hard Times; The SpaMoble Has Arrived; C-SPAM; Government at Work; Corporate Sponsor for a Website...Why Not? ; Exercise: Why Should I Walk Around the Block...When I Can Drive?; Keeping Up With The Joneses...Forget It!; Getting My Confidence and Keeping It; The Boob-Tube vs. Improving My Writing; My Love For Creative Writing; Everyone is Creative and So Are YOU!; My Integrity is NOT Negotiable; Stage Fright; No Cure For Me; Do It With Style...Or Don't Do It At All. 
* Legacy: A Gift of Writing: Wouldn't it be great to leave behind something other an attitude and
  a pile of debt?  With the coming of the Internet, a person can leave their writing pieces for all to enjoy!
* Why I'm Reluctant To Call Myself a Humor Writer  The late Erma Bombeck was once quoted as
  saying, "writing humor is 50 times harder than writing anything else."  I agree.  Erma Bombeck and
  Art Buchwald were two of my favorite writers and were s-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o funny! 
"If you're interested in seeing
examples of dialogue...you can go
to this page...Say What?
* My Personalized License Plate Reads: .SLOWPOK: I've been in the humor business for over
  forty years, and I never get tired of putting a smile on somebody's face.  And, I get a
  double-pleasure when that person is dis-abled, ill, or a patient in the hospital or just somebody
  having the blues! 
* Don't Golf My Way:  When anyone asked my what my handicap in golf is...I always answer by
  saying...GOLF!
* Auto Racing: Ladies...Start Your Engines...Over the years, at least one woman has qualified for
  the Indianapolis 500 race and that's good, because women should be allowed to compete with men
  in any sport if they choose to do so.  But, this Indy 500 is different, as all the 33 qualifiers are women!
* Does Life Begin at 40?.  If you're over 40 years old, you'd better hurry up and read this piece, you
  might not have long to live...hurry!
* The Funny Farm Gift Shop: When I saw the little designer straight-jackets in the clip-art library,
  I had to have them in a scene.  Here, you can get a designer straight-jacket for you and yours..
We took our boys to a Halloween  party at the local elementary school,
and it was one of the funniest nights of my life! 
How I Got Started In Humor I was only eleven years old, and I almost died that dreadful day
  at the picnic!
* Just Say No To Dirty Humor A person doesn't have to use dirty jokes;  gross humor; racial
  slurs or the put-down of others to be funny!
* The Negative Side of Humor  And yes, there is a negative side of humor.  Here, I share with you
  several things that are not acceptable in the world of humor.
* Humor 101 For Dumbos;  So, you want to be funny, eh"  Questions and answers on a
  general nature, etc.
* The Positive and Healing  Power of Humor The importance of humor in all of our lives. 
  Health IS a laughing matter, and studies are now showing that laughter is one of the healthiest   
  things we can do for ourselves
* How Humor Helps Me To Cope:  Professionals tell us that two humon emotions cannot occupy
  the same space at the same time.  You are either happy or you are sad...you can't have it both
  ways.  My choice is to be happy, or at least try to be happy, and humor helps me to achieve that
  goal

Life's embarrassing moments...we all    have them.  Research has shown, that the ability to laugh
  at ourselves at all the "crazy" and "insane" things we all do, can be healthy for us
Life's embarrassing moments...we all    have them.  Research has shown, that the ability to laugh
  at ourselves at all the "crazy" and "insane" things we all do, can be healthy for us
* How Humor Helps Me To Cope:  Professionals tell us that two humon emotions cannot occupy
  the same space at the same time.  You are either happy or you are sad...you can't have it both
  ways.  My choice is to be happy, or at least try to be happy, and humor helps me to achieve that
  goal

* The Positive and Healing  Power of Humor The importance of humor in all of our lives. 
  Health IS a laughing matter, and studies are now showing that laughter is one of the healthiest   
  things we can do for ourselves
* Humor 101 For Dumbos;  So, you want to be funny, eh"  Questions and answers on a
  general nature, etc.
* The Negative Side of Humor  And yes, there is a negative side of humor.  Here, I share with you
  several things that are not acceptable in the world of humor.
* Just Say No To Dirty Humor A person doesn't have to use dirty jokes;  gross humor; racial
  slurs or the put-down of others to be funny!
How I Got Started In Humor I was only eleven years old, and I almost died that dreadful day
  at the picnic!
Below, is a list of humor and humor-related articles I've written.   .  You can click on the links of the articles, which may be of interest to you, and then return to this page, and I certainly hope you enjoy!
Bedlam General Hospital

The Humor Clinic

"Hey you...over there at the water cooler...
  will you CUT IT OUT!"
"I'm sorry...but there is NO smoking
allowed in the Humor Clinic!"
CAT: "I attacked this
no-good mouse... which was hanging around the computer!"
My owner is going to be so proud of me!
DOG: "Boy, this dude looks like a dragon, with all that
smoke coming out of his nose and ears...ha-ha-ha...
this dude must be a ear, nose and throat doctor...ha-ha-ha!"
Some people just
don't have a sense of humor...you know it?
Placing captions on items of interest such as photos or these small graphics is fun and easy.  Nearly all of my over 200 wood pieces were captioned, so I have had a lot of practice at it.  .This is an easy way to start in humor...next time you read a magazine or a newspaper...start writing captions on or near the photos...you'll find out how much fun it can be!
Flower: "I hate to
get personal...but
has anyone ever called you a  drip?"
I remember when I was born...the doctor
didn't slap ME...he slapped my MOTHER for
having me!
If you're suffering from terminal seriousness...
you're in the right place!
There goes 
the Director of the
Humor Clinic.
If you want to go bananas...
you're in the right place!
We took our boys to a Halloween  party at the local elementary school,
and it was one of the funniest nights of my life! 
* The Funny Farm Gift Shop: When I saw the little designer straight-jackets in the clip-art library,
  I had to have them in a scene.  Here, you can get a designer straight-jacket for you and yours..
* Does Life Begin at 40?.  If you're over 40 years old, you'd better hurry up and read this piece, you
  might not have long to live...hurry!
* Auto Racing: Ladies...Start Your Engines...Over the years, at least one woman has qualified for
  the Indianapolis 500 race and that's good, because women should be allowed to compete with men
  in any sport if they choose to do so.  But, this Indy 500 is different, as all the 33 qualifiers are women!
* Don't Golf My Way:  When anyone asked my what my handicap in golf is...I always answer by
  saying...GOLF!
* My Personalized License Plate Reads: .SLOWPOK: I've been in the humor business for over
  forty years, and I never get tired of putting a smile on somebody's face.  And, I get a
  double-pleasure when that person is dis-abled, ill, or a patient in the hospital or just somebody
  having the blues! 
UPDATE: July, 2008
Where's the beef?
"If you're interested in seeing
examples of dialogue...you can go
to this page...Say What?
The Humor School
Humor 101 for Dumbos
Hi...my name is nurse Gladys...and I'll be your instructor in this humor class, and if that isn't okay with you, I'll just give you a shot where the sun don't shine...NOW LISTEN UP!
Hey, Doc...
I've got a
problem...I
think I have a screw loose!
* Why I'm Reluctant To Call Myself a Humor Writer  The late Erma Bombeck was once quoted as
  saying, "writing humor is 50 times harder than writing anything else."  I agree.  Erma Bombeck and
  Art Buchwald were two of my favorite writers and were s-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o funny! 
* How Humor Helps Us All To Cope With The Aging Process:  How time flies!  One day,
  you're 25 years old and feeling your oats.  And, the next day, you're 65 years old, and preparing
  to enter the Old Folks Home!  I don;t think there is anything that worries me more, than getting old! 
* Legacy: A Gift of Writing: Wouldn't it be great to leave behind something other an attitude and
  a pile of debt?  With the coming of the Internet, a person can leave their writing pieces for all to enjoy!
My Serious and Silly Articles
You can go to the Writing Section to view any of my serious articles which
are listed here: 
The Seriousness of Depression; The Rise in Diabetes;  Discrimination Against Older Workers (Ageism); Here's The Skinny on How I Lost 40 Pounds; You Can't Please Everyone...So, Don't Try;  Smoking Sucks! How I Quit Smoking; Sabrina: Another Smoking Casualty; Good Writing Requirs Good Speling and Grama; How I Saved My Dog Daniel; Think Positive; Taking Chances With My Ideas; Creativity:  How I Get My Ideas; It's All About Making People Happy; I Refused To Raise Two "Mama's Boys!"; Do I Look Like a Rocket Scientist To You?; Have You Ever Kissed an Ashtray?; Peer-Pressure...It's Everywhere; The ME Generation is Alive and Well;  A Feast For The Eyes; Do You Have a Fear of Failure?; Falling On Hard Times. Dealing With the Inevitable...DEATH!; Falling On Hard Times; The SpaMoble Has Arrived; C-SPAM; Government at Work; Corporate Sponsor for a Website...Why Not? ; Exercise: Why Should I Walk Around the Block...When I Can Drive?; Keeping Up With The Joneses...Forget It!; Getting My Confidence and Keeping It; The Boob-Tube vs. Improving My Writing; My Love For Creative Writing; Everyone is Creative and So Are YOU!; My Integrity is NOT Negotiable; Stage Fright; No Cure For Me; Do It With Style...Or Don't Do It At All. 
This is a family website!.
* Jerry...Are You Crazy?  People have told me on more than one occasion, that I belong behind
  plenty of razor wire and a high chain-link fence.  .So, when I saw this back-ground for this page,
  I had to put it to work. 
* Music: The Beginning of Rock and Roll For Me (1955)  Nostalgia: A little trip down memory
  lane.  It was the mid-1950's and my family couldn't afford a television set, so we listened to the
  radio.  And, there were two unusual voices that came across the radio...the voices of Little
  Richard, and that of Wolfman Jack!  This was the beginning of the rock and roll era! 
* The English Language is all "Greek" To Me!  For your mission, if you decide to accept it, is to
  construct a complete sentence with one of the following words, their; there; they're.  Should you
  fail, you shall go straight to jail; you will not pass GO...and you will not collect $200.00!  Good luck!
* The Humor Bug...Catch It...and Spread It Around:  Humor is everywhere...you just have to look
  for it.  People ask me where I get my humor, and the answer is always the same...around the home;
  around the work place; and out in the streets; and out where the deer and the antelope play..
The Operating Room:  This is where I do my cutting and pasting, and making a mess of everything!
To all the young people out there...STAY IN SCHOOL
==========================================
Jerry Aragon; The Humor Doctor         humordoctormd@yahoo.com
Main Street; Front Page                       Free Stuff/come see
Site Map/site contents                          The Creative Center
Writers Section                                    The Humor Clinic
The Funny Farm                                  Articles Publsihed
Orange Barrel Humor                          Book: Simply...to Inspire!
I live with a very
controlling person!
Mouse:  "I love to go out on
the Internet, and give away
my  "Cheesy A